The Psychology Today “Breakup”

I am THRILLED that the Time Persons of the Year are the SILENCE BREAKERS!!!

NO, we will NOT shut our mouths!!!!!

See my videos, links listed BELOW this horrific story (too nutty to believe, actually) about being silent about abuse and being called a LIAR.  I made those videos about being called a liar ONE YEAR before Time Magazine’s Persons of the Year.  PROUD TO BE A SILENCE BREAKER.

I had not said anything about this for months.  I was being quiet. I was playing “nice” like they wanted me to be.   This happened months ago.  So long as my articles were on Psychology Today, I stayed quiet about our “parting” (as they call it).  I was not going public about it.  Even though everyone who knows me expected me to say something “eventually.”  Well this is the eventually. And soon there will be a video…maybe more than one…and maybe a book…we shall see…I am so upset that during the holiday season our OUTREACH to #DomesticViolence victims has been stunted. BAD. MOVE. PT.

My boss asked me about this last night and I told him that a reader told me that when she asked PT where my articles were, she got an email from the Editor in Chief who said to her “She’s a wonderful writer who has an important message.” We both agreed that (as lawyers) that response came directly from Legal. Psychology Today: WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF???? I was the one cyberbullied. I was the victim. And you SILENCED me.

Because, for some reason unbeknownst to me, they took my articles down and I have been inundated with emails asking where they are, I’ve decided to go public with the unfair way I was treated by Psychology Today.  I had said NOTHING prior to this. This episode where I was a VICTIM and not a perpetrator was behind closed doors and I asked the few people who knew not to say anything. I was hoping PT would see the light but they are now hiding behind cowardly words and actions.  Just like the cowards who started this mess.

In this day and age where EVERY OTHER DAY, some famous guy cops to being inappropriate, it is SO CLEAR that women are trained to SHUT UP and if you don’t, you will REGRET IT. Well this is me NOT SHUTTING UP. On the date of this incident I had over 2k Twitter followers and I am just coming back now and have but a few. I hope to get it back up there again…who knows?

For those who try to come forward with abuse and bullying, they are often re-victimized and this is how it happens. You have misogynistic abusers who pick on women for no reason and when the woman smacks back – as I did – they go CRAZY – and a well-respected publication like Psychology Today sides with them, it gives them MORE power.  I’m out there…I’m who I say I am…they are sniveling cowards who hide in the dark.  And PT knows what they did to me and said to me and sided with the abusers.

For those who knew the story these many months and didn’t say anything, thank you.  For all those wondering, here is the story:

I was “fired” from Psychology Today. My blogs received a lot of traffic and a lot of attention. People in abusive relationships wrote me nearly every day.  The posts on abusive relationships had many comments from people trying to get out of abusive relationships.

As an attorney and a therapist, I did a 3 part series of being in the legal system with the personality disordered.  As a former abuse victim, I wrote articles on domestic violence that were picked up far and wide.  My posts received a lot of traffic and were often selected for inclusion on PT’s Facebook page.   I received a lot of email every single day.  They offered to leave my posts up but took them down even though I never asked them to.  They are important posts, even Psychology Today’s Editor in Chief has said that much. But PT wants to side with cyberbullies. They want to blame the victim. It’s crazy.

While I spent 99 percent of my time on the internet writing articles to help abuse victims, 99 percent of my time giving FREE advice to others, 99 percent of my time helping people who need help desperately, Psychology Today took ONE WORD that I said and decided that one word outweighed all the good I’ve done since being on the internet since the 1980s. I write articles EVERY DAY to help others. When my husband was diagnosed with TERMINAL CANCER, instead of writing about it on THIS BLOG, I moved my grief and sadness to another blog (Rope Burns) and continued to HELP people here who were going through a breakup. I did not say, “I’m losing the love of my life, who wants to hear about these stupid breakups???” I. DID. NOT. I continued to carry on, to the best of my ability, to help those who came to me trying to work through the pain of a breakup.

Yes, while I was in excruciating emotional pain from losing the only person in my life who loved me unconditionally, who was there for me…the only person in 48 years of life who truly had loved me and stayed by my side…I continued to write here for those going through breakups. Some big breakups, some after only a short time…but everyone feels their pain at 100 percent and I wanted to help others even as my own heart was shattering into a million pieces.

And when I went to write Psychology Today it was to reach more people…to have a bigger platform for my articles on abuse and getting away from abusers and the personality disordered. The email I received every day were from people thanking me for what I wrote. It was worth it. I received very little compensation for my articles. Roughly 3-4 k a year (yes THREE THOUSAND, not thirty), but ….

…my articles are widely-read and important works.  But they are no longer available on PT because they took the side of the cyberbullies.

Short history: I was watching the Scientology show by Leah Remini.  It was about young girls being raped.  I was emotional.  I tweeted, “Scientology is institutionalized mental illness.”  Leah Remini retweeted me.  Then all hell broke loose.  These cyberbullies came after ME…they trolled ME…I didn’t find them…they came after me.  Faceless, nameless, anonymous IDIOTS (yes, PT, I called them idiots…how horrible of me!)

I was trolled, for days, by these morons on  Twitter and when I called one an idiot, they went CRAZY…they tried to get me fired from my job. They harassed my employer for days and days…using all kinds of different internet addresses.   They contacted my publisher…they harassed my employers and every time they tried to block them, they found another way in. They found out, somehow, people I knew, places I’d been. I felt followed, harassed, victimized. All for calling one person an idiot. This is SO OVER THE TOP…it’s insane and ludicrous and gross and this is the side PT has taken.

I write about NOT TAKING ABUSE and yet Psychology Today was telling me I HAD TO TAKE ABUSE to write for them. Really? Really?

I have reported the cyberbullies. We logged their IP addresses when they sent their awful, false bs to my bosses. I have notified several outfits, including Twitter, to let them know what is going on and they are on notice. If it happens again, there will be legal action. It’s not happening again.

These nameless, faceless cowards threatened me on every front. They made up horrible, misogynistic, abusive, bullying web pages about me.  They said I gave men “brain tumors” (which is what my husband died from).  They called me every name in the book…all misogynistic. AND PSYCHOLOGY TODAY SIDED WITH THEM.

This is ONLY a part of what the cyberbullies wrote about me on countless websites.  I can’t even copy most of the rest of it….YES, it’s WORSE than what is written below.  This is the least offensive thing I can copy here:

This is what they wrote about me.  This is the venom from vermin. I sent this – with the website link – to Psych Today and I said, “Look, this is what they are writing about ME and you have issues with me calling ONE an idiot after being trolled for hours?”  These are the people that Psychology Today stuck up for when I called one an idiot. This is what THEY wrote about ME because I called one an idiot.  And yes, I did send this (with the web address) to Psychology Today and they didn’t care. Apparently anyone who incites this level of vitriol is too much for them.  Too bad, so sad:

“Susan J. Elliott is another run of the mill, bat-shit insane, all around Feminazi libtard suffering from Unwarranted Self-Importancethat should be barefoot, Pregnant and in a kitchen making sammiches and bringing men beers rather than trying to succeed in her secret man-hating club goal of either boring all men to impotence or destroying them with her secret power up move of giving out Brain Tumors through her incessant use of Social Media because some Uncle had to go and convince her she was interesting when he was making Small Talk during one of their molestation slash ice-cream parties. Actually believing him – she is still convinced that people, especially men, actually care about what she has to say and still has yet to Shut The Fuck Up.”

And guess what, cowards? She’s NOT GOING TO STFU. Not for you or for Psychology Today. Your harrowing, abusive tactics are just run of the mill misogyny. You’re nothing special. You are nitwits who hide in the dark and harass people…all of this venom because Leah Remini retweeted one of my tweets…so you found me and wrote all these horrifying things about me…too bad, so sad…only Psychology Today has enabled you. ..empowered you…but that will not make me STFU…so there.

This is the “policy” of Psychology Today that I violated:
12. Hostile, rude, or difficult attitudes toward fellow contributors, editors, readers, and commenters. Please be friendly, on the site and the Internet in general. Since you are a contributor to our site, it is important that you carry on any online disagreements respectfully and not in a manner that reflects negatively on PT.”

I am supposed to carry on online disagreements “respectfully.” Even when they are trolling you…even when they are calling you every name in the book…even when they seek you out to harass and bully you.

REALLY Psychology Today? I’m supposed to just SMILE AND TAKE IT???? Right? Just like every woman in the history of the world is supposed to do! SHUT UP AND BE NICE,
YOUNG LADY! If you are not nice, we are going to PUNISH YOU!!!

Look pretty and shut up and if you’re not pretty, then REALLY shut up.

For those who don’t know…my wonderful husband died of of brain tumor…but this is the LEAST offensive of all the things they wrote about me….All of this because Leah Remini retweeted me and then they harassed me and I was watching a show on Scientology and it was about girls being raped and I was very emotional.  They trolled ME, I did not troll them. I was minding my own business and tweeting about Scientology and when Leah Remini retweeted me when I tweeted that Scientology is institutionalized mental illness, these jerks came after me.  They trolled me for HOURS and finally I called one an idiot.  And that was IT.

They followed me around the internet, they harassed my employers, they harassed relatives, friends and trolled me every place they could.  All because I called one of these nameless, faceless idiots, an idiot.

The website above had were so many other paragraphs about me and Leah Remini. I don’t know Leah and she doesn’t know me. She just happened to catch my tweet. According to these vermin, we’re besties. According to this vermin, we hang and are nearly inseparable. News to me. My birthday was this month and no card from Leah. I wonder why.

I did not think these nitwits were Scientologists. They seem to hate Leah with a passion and I have no idea why. I spoke to a writer who writes about Scientology and he knows the group that trolled me and he said they’re not Scientologists but they troll women who get “too big for their britches.” Women like Leah Remini..and now, apparently me.

Like many women who are bullied and then re-victimized, I had no chance to defend myself.   PT fired me without my side of the story which is what abuser-enablers do.  They don’t ask what is going on here?  They just fire at random…that is what Psychology Today did to me.  They sent  me the “fired” letter at 1 p.m. and I was at work…I received it when I got out at 6 p.m. I wrote them a long letter with parts of what has been written to me with the links so they know I’m not lying about it but they never responded and then months later took my articles down.  Many people who circulated those articles (and gave a lot of traffic to Psychology Today) were upset. I received so much email asking for them…I have no idea why PT took them down…but they did and that is when I went public.

And the people who wrote those HORRIFIC things about me above are the ones that Psychology Today took the side of.  Because I called one an idiot.  Compare what I said to them against what they said about me and tell me WHO is wrong.

They said I violated the terms of service to “be friendly.” Even though I was very supportive and caring and gave lots of time to those who commented on my Psychology Today articles. My articles received a lot of traffic and I spent lots of time every single day answering email, answering comments and encouraging people to get the help they need. As a former battered wife, I wanted people to KNOW that it’s possible to GET OUT of abusive relationships and find true, genuine and caring love. I wanted it so much for everyone who has ever been in the clutches of an abuser. I wanted to keep reaching out…as much as I can.

99.9 percent of the time I AM friendly, but not just friendly…giving, kind, compassionate and trying hard to help people who are not being treated well. But PT wants me to be more than that…they want me to STFU and take abuse from trolls. Did you NOT get the message Psychology Today? I. Do. Not. Take. Abuse.

But they want me to “be friendly” to trolls and abusers? REALLY? So my life – on the internet – belongs to Psychology Today? And for making a comment…without profanity…mostly with just sarcasm…was not okay.

Psychology Today paid me approximately $3000.00 a year for my articles (yes, that is THREE THOUSAND, not thirty thousand) and for that measly 3k I should just STFU when someone trolls me – don’t call them an idiot…you will be fired.

I did not write for PT for the money (OBVIOUSLY) – I wrote for the visibility to get my articles about abuse and being in relationships with personality-disordered people TO THE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT. That is why I signed up with them. NOT for the money, not for the fame (HA!) but just to use their platform as a way to get to people who need HELP – the abused. But that motivation is NOTHING if you can’t refrain from calling someone an idiot. Honestly PT, you are wrong wrong wrong and you cut off a lot of people from important information.

One of my readers received a reply from the EDITOR IN CHIEF of Psychology Today and he said “Yes, she’s a wonderful writer who does important work.” That was IT. No explanation as to where my articles went. She’s a wonderful writer who does important work? And you decided to take her articles down. FOR CALLING SOMEONE AN IDIOT. Really? Really.

If you’re a woman, you don’t smile enough. That is what we’re told. Be nice, be a “lady” – be FRIENDLY even when they’re calling you the b word and the c word and taunting you with despicable, horrible words and phrases. Even when they’re telling you to STFU…BE FRIENDLY DAMMIT!!!!

Despite the fact that they trolled me and they harassed me and they called me every name in the book. Despite the cyberbullying that went on and one for DAYS before and after, they came after me to RUIN MY LIFE because I called one of the harassers an “idiot.”

I sent Psychology Today the quote above and gave them the website address of where it was written.  I will not put it on this site because I don’t want to give it any kind of publicity but I gave it to PT. They could SEE that what they wrote about me was even more despicable than what I quoted above.

YET, Psychology Today took the side of the bullies and that is why my articles which helps abused people and people getting out of relationships with narcissists are no longer available. To contact them about why, write to CEO Jo Colman at MAIL TO PSYCH TODAY

Despite the fact that they offered to keep my articles up, they took them down. I have no idea why. They just took them off the internet one day and I have been DELUGED with people asking for the articles. They are coming back! I’ve paid someone to copy them and put them on the blog. I have a few up already. “Like” the Getting Past Your Breakup page on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. I used to have 2k followers but I deactivated my account for a while and lost all my followers.

But I’m BACK and I won’t let the cyberbullies win even though Psychology Today took their side. See below for the “horrible” thing I said to someone who had been trolling me for DAYS (and I explained it to PT but they don’t care…they took the side of the misogynistic cyberbullies…SHAME ON YOU Psychology Today! – COWARDS!) Even though she said I could leave them up, they took them down even though I wanted them to remain.

My videos about being abused and staying silent

Introduction to Being Silent About Abuse 

Video about being called a liar about being abused

This is the email from PT:

“Your social media activity has come to our attention (please see the attached screenshot). Because PT bloggers represent PT on the Internet, we expect all contributors to conduct themselves in a professional manner on the Internet.

Please see Guideline No. 12 here:

12. Hostile, rude, or difficult attitudes toward fellow contributors, editors, readers, and commenters. Please be friendly, on the site and the Internet in general. Since you are a contributor to our site, it is important that you carry on any online disagreements respectfully and not in a manner that reflects negatively on PT.

It is time for us to part ways.

We offer outgoing/former contributors the option of removing all their posts or leaving them up. Let us know your preference.

Thank you for giving this a try and we wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Lybi Ma
Deputy Editor
Psychology Today”