GPYB Stop Domestic Violence Program

stop the painAs a former domestic violence victim, I try to work with DV shelters and organizations as I can.

There are 4 parts to the DV Program.
1) Speaking at both DV Orgs/Shelters and High Schools;
2) Matching Book Donations, clothing and toy drives; and
3) Scholarships
4) Legal work

Speaking

1. I speak (gratis) to any DV organization or shelter in the tri-state (NY/NJ/CT) area as well as most of New England. I also travel to Pennsylvania and as far south, north, east and west as I can without incurring too many hotel bills. I wish I could do more and travel more places just to tell my story of getting out and building a wonderful life and all the resources available, but the costs tend to be prohibitive.

A few years ago I did a weekend retreat out west that was sponsored by a church. All of the space, food, etc was donated by local sponsors in exchange for signage and they collected enough money to have me come out and I stayed in the retreat house so I didn’t have any expenses but the flight and most of it was paid for. So if your community is not in the Northeast, there are ways to work around the expenses. I don’t require anything fancy and most retreat houses will help. Also substance abuse treatment centers that have strong women’s programs can be very inventive when it comes to this.

When neither I nor they have the money but I can Skype and I’ve done HuffPo Live many times through Google Hangout so we could do something like that as well. Unfortunately so many shelters cannot even afford the technology to do something like Skype or Google Hangout. But if you are a for-profit organization looking for projects to invest in, DV is an area where resources are sorely needed.

I also speak at high schools and my abuse started in high school at the hands of 13 and 14 year old boys so I truly feel it’s important to go to high schools and tell both boys and girls about domestic violence and its effects on you and you don’t grow out of it and boys don’t just become nicer. If you know of a high school that is running DV awareness programs for high school kids and need some help, please DO NOT hesitate to give them my contact numbers (below). Or if you are a high school counselor who would like to do a DV Awareness Day.

2. The Matching Book Program/Clothing/Toy Drives

The first chapter of the Getting Past Your Breakup book is My Story which tells how I escaped a life of violence to be healthy, happy and whole. The rest of the book is how I did it and how I have helped others do it for 25 years. It’s about getting past a breakup and building your life again.

If you are finished with a book or have a second copy (now that it’s on audio, many have switched to that and give their book away) please donate to an organization that can use the book and let me know and I will match it, either to that or one in NY or NJ. Please make sure the shelter or organization is still in existence. I have sent out so many books that have come back because it has closed (so sad) so I try to send books to well-funded organizations and hope they make it into the hands of those who need them. I am also saddened that DV education has taken a hit due to budget cuts in many other organizations (schools/hospitals) where it is greatly needed.

In addition to the Book Program, I sometimes run clothing drives to give to shelters and toy drives for children in shelters, so please let me know if you know of a shelter who needs that. Many women who are in shelters need business attire to look for jobs so I like to run as many of those as I can. If you have one and need my involvement, please let me know. I know a lot of professional women who would love to donate gently used clothing.

I also collect other things for the shelters themselves such as dishes, utensils, cookware, etc. Every LITTLE bit helps.

3. Scholarships

I give 10 percent of profits from YouTube videos to local domestic violence shelters and 10 percent of royalties on books. Our aromatherapy products will be reappearing in 2017 and a portion will go as well as product donations to various shelters around the country.

I also give DV scholarships so any time I have a seminar, bootcamp or retreat and students don’t have the money (usually because abusers keep a close eye on the finances). I don’t normally ask people for money (just send books if you can) but many people over the years have contributed to the DV fund including those who have paid for seminars or retreats and cannot make it.

If you are involved with DV organizations or shelters and need speaker, let me know directly. Sometimes people go through my publicist who worked for my publisher and they are in no way connected to this (except it sells books for them, I suppose).

INFORMATION

I also have a lot of information for DV victims still in the situation and want to get out SAFELY. And I do counseling for DV victims, many times over the phone or Skype and I DEFINE abuse for many who are unclear “Is this abuse?” Usually if have have to ask, it is.

If you HAVE information to send me, please do and I will include it in my pamphlets.

4) Legal

I have been helping DV victims apply for protective orders long before I became an attorney and have done it throughout law school and my legal career. If you are in an abusive situation and need help with a protective order or legal information (without a representation I cannot give advice but I can give information), please let me know.


If your organization needs help, please let me know.

Write me at sj_elliott AT verizon DOT net

Tweet me @susanjae

Call me at 914-332-1123

You can go to this page to order GPYB

THANK YOU ALL!!!

One Response to GPYB Stop Domestic Violence Program

  1. Claire says:

    Hello

    I have only just found this site and books, blogs, forums and self help site. I’m still not sure how it will help me however know I need to try, THIS IS MY STORY……

    I’m 36 years old with two beautiful boys age 13 years and 18months, I have been with my husband 18 years however only married 3years ago as I never felt good enough or secure enough until then.

    As teenagers we were both somewhat wild and 100 miles an hour, we fell in love quick and hard. When I look back I know see my now husband was actually very insecure and had anger issues very early on. He would snap if he thought I was flirting with someone (I never would I would just be being friendly). He was extremely jealous, angry, which I later found out is what he witnessed as a child from his father towards his mother which did not end well, and effected him greatly he is living proof.

    As the years go by our relationship is a roller coaster, of loving hard and hurting hard! I got so used to this behaviour over the years even thinking he was this was because he loved me so much. I have always attracted the male species as my mothers say I’m very pretty, and attractive being slim with a naturally top heavy which over the years I try to hide myself and choose clothes carefully so not to attract attention. If I was out with friends when I got home my husband would always quiz me did any males talk to me, try and chat me up, look at me which over the years put me off going out so much. He would say your body figure is for him and his eyes only and how much he love all of me.

    We had out first child I was only 22 years and these time were hard, I got terribly sick with an immune disease and was in and out of hospital months at a time which went on for 8 years all in all, whilst trying to be a good partner and mother. He would visit me in hospital but always smelt of alcohol as he apparently would go straight the pub after visiting to his friends. When my illness settled enough and I was home just able to look after myself and our baby. He was deeply into the partying scene and had got into drugs whilst I was ill and spent thousand of pounds partying whilst I lay in my hospital bed and was now hooked. I would be abused weekly, he would stay out nights on end leaving me feeling abandoned with a new baby and weak from my condition, a cussing me of untrue things, drilling into me I’m a person I’m not, physically hurting me, intimidating me, I became a bad secret self harmer.

    After a very long struggle (years) we got through giving drugs up and then battle his drinking. His abuse seemed to subside a lot and I could cope with the snippets which have never ever left. Several years ago he really crossed the line AGAIN, and hurt me and agreed to go anger management, he did things seemed better and I felt so better and more at ease. I thought he had finally overcome all his demons all the struggle, and fight to save us had finally paid off so we had our dream wedding which was perfect I was so in love and happy something I had craved all these years and had another child who is now 18mths.

    Unfortunately this has been short lived, the jealous behaviour came back, the aggressive/intimidating behaviour came back and I was scared of him again and felt my heart sink. Again he agreed counselling as he went to far again and I could cope with constantly being told I’m dis trustworthy, sly, an embarrassment, a disgrace, slag, how he will kill me if I ever cheat, how he want to throw me through windows all sort it all started again he ripped a necklace off my neck in a rage whilst he was driving fast on a motorway with our children in the car I mean he had become bad again.

    We agreed counselling and went to DV groups, your see in between all these times he does believe it all not make me feel he loves me so much as he tells me he couldn’t be without me, how beautiful I am, how he adores me and I do believe him however he has these horrendous demons. I don’t understand how I can feel so loved one minute and so disgusting the next by him I will never understand this.

    Anyway I have finally taken the leap and told him we are over I want him out of my life and I bloody mean it. I have been verbally abused by him as he woke me up out of sleep which he has done before to be intimate with me and straight after telling me how disgusted he is with me and who do I text on my phone all the jealous scary behaviour however he looked like he wanted to kill me I was so scared he and very big and strong 16stone man and am petit 8st lady to give you an idea of the intimidation. That morning after I was out of there and discovered a bag in his vehicle this same morning when I looked inside I couldn’t believe my eyes it was full with used needles, and steroids human growth hormones etc…. These are renowned for making men angry not to mention you can have serious health risks (heart attacks etc), so someone my husband injecting this poison whilst knowing he has serious issues anyway which he was getting help for was opening putting my children and myself at such high risk and danger. I’m so sad yet so angry, I know this sounds stupid but do love him dearly as he really does have two personalities and the good one is who I wanted to spend my whole life with. I will end our marriage and I’ve never felt so over us, however the sheer pain of doing this whilst still loving them so much is very very difficult. I’m managing to stay strong I’m not really letting myself feel much as I scared to not until it all over anyway. If anyone out there can help or advice me I would Whole heartedly grateful. Thank you so much just for reading this post xxx I want to live and feel my life for once and trying to learn how xxxxx

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