On Dancing Out of Control

“When she is starved, a woman will take any substitutes offered, including those that, like placebos, do absolutely nothing for her, as well as destructive and life-threatening ones that hideously waste her time and talents or expose her life to physical danger. It is a famine of the soul that makes a woman choose things that will cause her to dance madly out of control–then to, too near the executioner’s door.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes “Women Who Run With The Wolves”


We look at the things that keep us dancing out of control and find, underneath, an aching emptiness looking to be filled. Unfortunately when you are that hungry, you look for it in all the wrong places.

It is said that hungry people make poor shoppers, and so it is.

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Posted in recovery, relationships, role models, women | 7 Comments

Domestic Violence

stop the painIf you or anyone you know has been a victim of DV and would like to share, there are ppl who come to this post and comment all the time. Some are IN the abuse and some are just getting out. Please share your experience strength and hope (I know some of you have already on here) or share the article so others know there is hope. Thank you.


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Registration Issues

funny cartoon scientistI’ve been working ALL day and then coming home at night every night since June to work on the site. I think I actually fixed the registration issue and a few other things. We still have things that need “doing” but for now a lot of the kinks have been worked out. To help support the site and the new book (we’re going to be shopping it after Labor Day), you can go HERE and see how you can help. Most things you can do to help support the site will cost NOTHING and anything you do spend goes right back into the site. Thank you all for your support and your patience!!!

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8/22 Check in Post

Green Check MarkHow is everyone doing??

GPYB Recommends Other Resources For Recovery

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On Rising Up From the Ashes

abstract swirl of blue on a black backgroundThis was one of the first posts I wrote on the blog. I wrote the long saga of how the blog became a book over the past few days (under To Publication under pages, not that I expect anyone to read all the way through it but some people interested in publishing and others interested in how the blog became a book have been asking…) and to refresh my recollection of which blogs were written first, I was reading the through the first few blog posts and thought this would be a good one to run.  This is one that is partially in the book. Unedited from the original December 2006.

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” -Joseph Campbell

When I first left my marriage, I was convinced it was the right thing for about 24 hours. Then I felt plunged into a darkness I had never known before or since. I woke up on day 2 feeling as if I was unraveling. I couldn’t understand it, but I had next to no ability to even begin to understand anything, let alone this HUGE emotional upheaval I seemed to be having. Continue reading

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Posted in fear of abandonment, fear of loss, featured, GPYB3, grief, hurt, journaling, loss, love, rebound, recovery, relationships, resilience, sadness, success, tftd, thought for the day | 5 Comments

GPYB Recommends

Recommended iconSeveral people have asked, over the past month, for a reading “list.” It’s here:

GPYB Recommends and will remain on the PAGES at the top of the blog.

Have a suggestion? Leave it in comments BELOW! Thank you!

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Book #3 Contributions

VorlageFor those who are new, I’m writing a new book based on this post:

New instructions for sharing your story & please resend if you already have: http://gettingpastyourbreakup.com/gettingpastyourpast/2016/08/book/

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Life Isn’t Fair. Never Has Been. Never Will Be.

Grief is an important part of moving on. It’s important to feel as bad as you really feel. It’s important to give credence to your grief and your hurt. But it’s also important to take time out (especially as the process goes on) and live your life. Yesterday was another anniversary for me and I could feel myself getting a bit funky. It’s okay to do.

But the other thing is that gratitude for what you do have is important.
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August NC CHIPS!!!!!!

We did our last NC chip post toward the end of June so I skipped July.  But now we have a few new people struggling with NC, so please share trials, tribulations, successes, how you did it and what you’re doing to celebrate.

How it works is explained after the jump (the Continue Reading link).



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8/11 Check In

Green Check MarkWe’re just about half way through August. How is everyone doing?

The GPYB Facebook Page

The GPYB Psychology Today Page

The GPYB YouTube Channel

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Recovering From Bad Love

stop the painI run this a couple of times a year. It’s from Women Who Love Too Much but it can be applied for anyone recovering from unhealthy relationships. These are signs that you are INDEED recovering.

As someone who went from being a horribly sick individual in horrifically dangerous, destructive relationships to being a TOTALLY recovered WWL2M who was in a long-term relationship with someone who never once made me cry or called me a name or did anything untoward to me, who told me early on, “I want to make you the happiest person on Earth,” and then DID, all while supporting my individual goals and pursuits no matter how small (I want to start walking in the morning) or large (I want to go to law schoool), I can tell you that this is not only possible but it’s the only way to go through life. Don’t settle for some of this…go for ALL OF IT!!!!!!!
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Rejection & The Hit To Self-Esteem

rejection1I wrote this a long time ago, but it’s true today. And I’m writing the new book which is ALL about rejection and rejecting the rejection. And this is for Football Girl and anyone else who needs it. I have not edited the original (and Michael was here so he’s mentioned). Whenever I read back on things that happened when he was here and well and I think of the STUPID things I was obsessing about instead of enjoying my life, I get angry. Don’t let people rent space in your head they don’t pay for:
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Reboot Pathological Narcissist

npdI’m working on the NPD section of the new book, and edited and reworked the Pathological Narcissist post.
It’s here:
The Pathological Narcissist

Feel free to share your experiences!

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Uh…NO…Trolls Will Troll

snavatar1A Twitter troll (not interested in anything that I’ve done, just a bunch of empty noise) said that having “aromatherapy” in my profile damages my credibility. This whole thing started as a mission to make healthy products for my family. In addition to the “me night” products, I designed a line of men’s products that men seem to LOVE and all profits go to the Michael A. DiCarlo Brain Tumor Foundation (this is managed by Fidelity and is a true 501(c) charity). It’s only been a few months that we’ve been public and things are going well. I had an awesome response at a Farmer’s Market I did yesterday.

I support small beekeepers in an effort to help the planet and save the bees. So I’ve “enhanced” the page explaining it and GPYB readers get a 20 percent discount on SN products. Having passion about any thing that is outside your normal range of interests does not damage your credibility and anyone who thinks so is a fool. It also calms me greatly. Making products with beeswax from small local beekeepers is AMAZING. The smell is incredible. I also infuse my oils with herbs, calendula, chamomile, lavender etc etc. When Michael was sick I learned to make salve for him with plaintain and calendula and it helped his psoriasis so much I didn’t have to buy the $500 tube of medication the doctor prescribed for him and I kept my promise to him not to send him back to the hospital. Had he gotten a bed sore I would have had to have put him in the hospital. I couldn’t AFFORD the cream so I made the salve and it was AMAZING and I kept my promise to him.

Almost all my products contain either infused oils, beeswax from small beekeepers or BOTH. (many contain both). I truly truly truly love what I’m doing and WHY I’m doing it and that I get to donate to beekeepers and Michael’s charity and offer non-GMO, no palm oil, no parabens, no silicones, no animal products, no many other bad things! I work hard to make sure my herbs are certified, our bath salts are certified, our products are organic, non-GMO etc etc. I feel so GREAT about these products and I love love love making them. It’s meditative to me and really helps me think.



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First, welcome to the blog! Second, if you have trouble registering, email me at gpyb.com AT gmail DOT com
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