7/19 Check in Thread

Green Check MarkHow is everyone doing? If you posted recently in the last check in thread, feel free to repost here!

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More Site Issue Updates

New lower price (temporarily) on the workbooks. The hosting company takes a percentage & the rest goes to site maintenance and support. Anything left over goes to the GPYB DV program:

Click Here To Order

UPDATE 7/18: I’m working again full time trying to pay the bills so the YouTube videos for Questions Answered is a bit delayed. Hope to get to it soon. Also spent about 4 hours last night (after a long 12 hour work day) with the hosting company on registration issues. Please email me at gpyb.com AT gmail DOT com (yes I know there are 2 .coms in the email address, but trust me, it’s correct, if you have issues. I do get almost instantaneous email from Psychology Today if you send me email via their contact form, so that is faster.

GPYB has been the Number One Best Seller on Amazon (US) divorce quite a few times in the past few days so THANK YOU!!! It’s pretty amazing for a 7 year old books but really really really helps us with shopping the NEW book, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep up the reviews and tweeting about the book on Twitter/ sharing the books (.jpgs to the right – a couple of people told me they couldn’t right click on the .jpgs of the books so I fixed that! So please right click on the books .jpgs and share!) on Instagram / sharing about the books on FB.

Please see after the jump more ways to keep the site going and to help the new book. Thanks all!
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The Personality Disordered Ex and The Court System

angrygifI have been receiving a lot of email and comments on this post.  I am rewriting it now based on some feedback. If you have had this experience, and want to share, please let me know.

The Personality Disordered Co Parent Ex and the Legal System

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We only get so many sunsets in life. We miss most of them. We don’t get a whole lot of really great ones.

I’ve done posts about being just about the only person on the train platform in the a.m. who is actually looking at the Hudson. I feel so fortunate to be able to start and end my day walking on the banks of this magnificent river. I get to see funny ducks, fish, crazy birds and unbelievable ships and boats. Mostly everyone else is looking at their phone. I don’t get it. You can have your phone for the rest of the day. You only get so many glimpses of the Hudson and the unique things that happen there.
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Anniversary Loss Grief Remembering or Not

burning memorial candles burning memorial candlesA few years ago I wrote a post on anniversary grief on 9/11. I was born and raised in New York City. It’s my hometown and it has a different feel on 9/11…

Anniversaries of losses are a time for reflection and for continuing the healing process. Anniversaries of losses are important as milestones.

There is something known as “anniversary grief” that arrives like clockwork whether you acknowledge it or not.
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7/4 Check In Thread

Green Check Mark How is everyone doing?


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Singletude, Interdependence & Independence

On Independence Day I want to repost this. I write about this in Getting Back Out There and it is NEVER too early to read GBOT. It’s about how to position yourself for getting back out there, not necessarily a book to wait to read when you’re ready to date. You have to learn what is independence, interdependence, codepedency and dependency. Again, GBOT is about getting ready for healthy love and that should begin the very day you breakup. It’s work, it takes work and it’s about changing your mindset. Check your singletude. Until you get that right, you will not get relationships right.


It is not difficult to define healthy relationships. In healthy relationships, love is an action. In healthy relationships there is no abuse, no manipulation, no control and no criticism (constructive feedback, yes, but not criticism). It’s balanced and back and forth and give and take. Sometimes you give 99 percent and your partner gives 1 percent. Other times it’s your partner giving 99 percent and you are giving 1 percent. It’s about supporting each other through life’s adversities…you are a team…an unwavering partnership that works when things are good and when times are hard. No matter what.
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The Pathological Narcissist

REQUESTED REPOSTI see an abundance of people in my practice that were partners of the pathological narcissist (pathological as opposed to normal narcissism in which self-centeredness is necessary sometimes or you become too self-centered other times…that is not pathological). I believe this is because narcissists tend to destroy people and normal people cannot understand what it is like to be a narcissist and continually try to put the narcissist into a normal frame of reference and ask, “How can (he or she) ACT like that?” I’m currently writing on this pathology for the new book and a lead-in for an article on Psych Today but there is a requested repost of something I wrote a while back.

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Revenge Revisited

Requested repost

Revenge is never a good idea. Even though it seems as if your anger needs an outlet and the ONLY possible one is one with a target and the ONLY possible target is your ex or your ex’s new love. Anger and outrage are normal emotions after you have been hurt by someone or led on or lied to or cheated on etc. It’s NORMAL to feel incredibly pissed off. It’s even normal to have a revenge fantasy or two, but it’s NOT OKAY (EVER) to act on it.

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Registration & Site

UPDATE 7/1: Another late night with the hosting company. Yesterday I had to manually register 14 people (where are they? please share !) and it MIGHT be fixed 24 hours later (I have to wait until midnight to find out and then call them if it’s not).

UPDATE 6/27: We’re still working on things. I’d really like to go back to a dedicated server but funds don’t allow it right now.

UPDATE 6/26: Last night I worked with the hosting company for about 4 hours trying to fix the registration issue and other issues. We were at it until 2 in the morning. Apparently it’s not fixed. Back to the drawing board. As soon as I have the energy we will reconvene.
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